About my need of people

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Why am I so desperate to meet my friends and spend as much time as possible with them? I have a very specific and weird way of torturing myself and company is the only thing that's making me stop. For a few hours. 
I am a creature that has a tendency to analyze herself and her past, her choices and her words to the point of wounding herself. And still not stopping. Hurting never made me stop digging in my flesh for answers. Even if my bones hurt, I am still trying to figure things out. Maybe that's why I got over a relationship so fast, maybe I lived a year worth of emotions in two months. So intense and nerve-wracking... 

I know that when I'm alone, I am unable to stop digging.

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